I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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