Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
