The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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