I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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