Where did you get a picture of my penis
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
