No awkward lesbian experiences without me
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
