I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
