How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
