You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
