benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
