John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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