Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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