she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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