All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
