So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I did not marry a roomba.
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