this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
