Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
