We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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