:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
