Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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