Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
