We won't sleep together?
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
