I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize