I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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