whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
