think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Who did Billy Mays play for?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Randomize
