It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
