i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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