And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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