I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
