Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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