Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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