yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
