lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
