oh god the rape fog is back!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
