I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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