and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
