i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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