your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
