Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
