Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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