You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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