just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The convent might be a nice break from real life
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize