Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
