I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
