we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
