Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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