i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
