I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
