I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize