I'm jealous of your bromance
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
