I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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