Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
