using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
