No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He felt like a one man threesome
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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